I Love You Man

Its not always comfortable discussing or expressing feelings and emotions – especially for men. Men often bottle up emotions that may end up manifesting as anger or in all kinds of other ugly ways. I’m sure a few dudes reading this are already tuning out – talking about feelings is not traditionally a man’s domain.

I grew in a time when men rarely hugged each other or expressed any type of emotion. If I told another dude that I loved him it might result in a barrage of homophobic slurs or maybe even a beating!

Fast forward to the late 90’s when I discovered the big city party scene and the drugs that went along with it. It was fueled by Ecstasy and MDMA and it actually was a beautiful experience while it lasted. Flooding my system with a massive serotonin release was therapeutic and it allowed me to express love and emotion in a way that I was not accustomed to.

This bath-tub chemistry/therapy experiment eventually ran it’s course and it lead to a darker place with harder drugs in order to navigate to that safe place where my ‘Brother’s’ could finally open up and feel secure confiding in one another. While this experience did open a portal of communication and awareness, it was obviously not healthy or sustainable.

A friend’s recent comment inspired me to write this. We were having an open and authentic conversation about our fears, insecurities, challenges and relationships. We were joking over an early morning coffee that we would need to be in that very dark place I just described to be comfortable enough to get to the core of whatever topic we were tackling in that moment.

Women often do a much better job at communicating about feelings and emotions with one another and often schedule time on regular basis. It seems that the stigma with men talking about their feelings, mental health & wellbeing is now starting to finally subside. Midlife Rewire is a platform to advocate this communication as our thoughts truly dictate how we feel and behave.

I think men can be strong, tough and brave but also kind, caring and emphatic. I still have plenty of work to do, but I am woke to the concept and my eyes and heart are open to this new awareness.

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